My family has always traveled. Some of my earliest and best memories are of the four of us going down the road singing. We literally sang our way across the contiguous 48 states as we made our way from campground to campground. Now, as an adult, I cherish opportunities to travel with my parents (and my sister when she can come)!
The Benefits of Making Time to Travel with Your Mature/Aging Parents
I know we are all busy. But, there are so many wonderful benefits to making time to travel with your parents as an adult. You appreciate them more and you will cherish the memories you make together. We all know that if things follow the natural order, we are likely to outlive our parents. But I think we all tend to block that from our thoughts as long as we can. That is fine, as long as we don’t waste the precious time we have.
Spending Quality Time Together
I moved away from home at 18 and have lived away ever since. As my parents (and I) age, I have found myself homesick at times. Not homesick for a specific house, or even city. I am homesick for my family. I know I will not have them forever and I crave time with them. Traveling with my parents has provided me quality time with them that is difficult to obtain on a visit home. When I go home, we often have projects to do and people to see. But when I travel with my parents, we have time to fully focus on enjoying the experience together. We are more intentional about not just being together – but spending quality time together.
The Opportunity to Not Be a Total Brat
Is it just me? Or do your parents somehow get smarter every day? This increase in their I.Q. started when I was about 25 and it is still happening over 30 years later. If they had only been this bright when I was younger, I would not have had to roll my eyes at them nearly so often. Mark Twain expressed it best:
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”–Mark Twain.
OK. I confess, I was a total brat at times! The older I get the more I regret it and know I am just lucky my parents still love me! But taking time to travel with my parents as an adult, has given me opportunities to NOT roll my eyes, talk back, whine, or ask them to buy me things they can’t afford because they saved all year just to take me on vacation. Unfortunately, I still probably roll my eyes and talk back at times – but now I regret it immediately and try to make amends.
Gaining Better Perspective and Appreciation
Traveling with my parents as an adult has helped me get to know them on a deeper level. Sites often remind them of how they did things in the 1940s, 50s, or 60s. This leads to conversations about their life and experiences prior to my appearance at the end of the 60s. A lot happened in those years! Telephones, television, and computers were not part of their early life. Now they walk around with the latest iPhone in their pocket and it serves the purpose of all three! Over years of travel with my parents, I have learned a lot about their early years. This has led to a greater understanding of who they are. I have also gained a better appreciation of the sacrifices they made to give me the life I have.
Your parents can also add depth and context to many of the places you travel to. For instance, my parents shared a lot of memories of the World War II era when I Went to Paris With My Parents. When we went to Cuba, they talked about being in Florida fishing during the Cuban Missile Crisis. They were totally disconnected and had no idea there were rockets aimed at them. Deidra recently spent a Week in Scotland with her Mom and they were able to do an ancestral search together.
Making Memories
Some of my best memories with my parents are of us hitting the road (or air, or water) for our next adventure. We are all complete nerds about planning a trip. Daddy has always been our pro when hitting the open road. He maps out every location to the last detail. Mom is all about scouting the best shore excursions, picking our staterooms, and making sure every detail is planned to a “t” when we cruise. I sometimes think we have as much fun planning and talking about the trip as we have on the trip itself!
We have had so many fun and funny times together on vacation!
- I will never forget when Dad accidentally drove the RV into Juarez, Mexico. We had planned to walk across the border. Instead, we spent $100 for the “Mexican Police” to allow us to turn the silly thing around at the border crossing.
- Mom, my sister, and I love to shop at outlets. On one trip, Dad had planned a really tight itinerary to accommodate our various work schedules. So, every time we saw an opportunity to shop, Dad would insist that, “this is not a shopping vacation.” We all salivated as we passed a sprawling outlet center along the road. It was the biggest one we had ever seen. He then sighed, pulled in, and resigned himself to a long nap alone in the RV.
- We pulled into our Disneyland campground late one night to literally be told, “Sorry folks, parks closed.” My sister and I exploded with laughter and we had to rent National Lampoon’s Family Vacation to let Mom and Dad in on the joke. Disney’s California Adventure now sits where we had planned to camp.
All of these great memories (and many more I won’t bore you with) occurred while traveling with my parents as an adult!
The Challenges of Traveling with “Mature” Parents
No matter how old or young you are, traveling with different generations in one group can be a challenge. My parents never let diapers, strollers, or temper tantrums keep them from taking us on adventures. So, it is only fair that we not allow a few age-related challenges keep us from traveling with them now. Even this super steep and scary ramp getting off the ship in Cuba!
Differing Trip Goals and Expectations
My parents have always traveled with a firm plan in place. If they took a road trip, they had the route mapped and the campgrounds identified. When traveling internationally they generally participated in an organized tour. They primarily participated in planned shore excursions on a cruise. This is all cool. But as an adult I mostly travel independently and prefer the flexibility of a loose plan with just a few commitments.
I dislike organized tours that rush me through the things I enjoy and then force me to spend way too long at their select vendor. In addition, I like to focus on adventure travel and do the things my body may not allow me to do in a few years. But my parents are slowing down a bit and prefer bus tours that hit the highlights.
I found it important to focus on the purpose of the trip. Was it to see the place and/or do the thing? Or was it about experiencing it with my parents? With this perspective in mind, I am able to chill out and enjoy the bus tour for what it is. That said, my mom remained quite active into her 80s. She even rode the Flow-Rider at 81, and in Haiti she did the world’s longest zip line over water at 82. So, we slip a little adventure in the mix, too!
Mobility and Accessibility
When we are young, our parents take baby steps so we can keep up. Or they carry us on their shoulders so we can see everything. Roles reverse a bit as we all age. On a trip to Paris with My Parents, my Dad struggled with walking. He finally started taking photos of the backside of Mom and I as that is what he mainly saw. We had to do a few things to lessen his steps. The hop-on/-off bus allowed us to get to know the city and reduce steps. We also took more rest breaks and let him skip a few sites he was not that interested in.
Several years later, we cruised to Cuba and the Caribbean. My sister and I knew he would struggle and end up not seeing the things he wanted to see. My parents hated it, but we finally talked them into getting a scooter for Dad to use on the ship and shore. The scooter was a small challenge when using the elevators on board, but it gave Dad the freedom to enjoy the trip. He even made a few friends in Grand Cayman due to the novelty of the scooter. We also arranged for a wheelchair at the airport and cruise terminal to ease his access.
Sites in the states have great accessibility, but that is not the case in other countries. To overcome this, you just have to plan ahead to determine places you can and cannot access. But don’t let mobility and accessibility concerns keep you home. You can enjoy traveling with parents (or anyone else) no matter their mobility issues.
Medication and Medical Equipment
Lastly, as our age increases, so does our need for medications and medical equipment. Dealing with this can seem overwhelming to you and your parents. But don’t let it keep you home. With a little organization, you can go anywhere you want no matter how much stuff you have to take. I have seen people travel with their wheelchair, walker, and oxygen tank. And that is just the stuff that was visible. There is no telling how much equipment they carried that I never saw! Dad carried a CPAP across the globe and never let it slow him down.
As my parent have aged, we found that cruising is the easiest option for family travel. You don’t have to change hotels as you move from place to place so you don’t have to unpack and repack the equipment repeatedly.
It is Totally Worth Overcoming the Challenges to Travel with Your “Mature” Parents
As Mom and Dad age (they are now in their late-80s), our travel has declined. They were going strong until COVID hit, but I fear that robbed them of their last couple of good years of adventure. Now we spend less time traveling together and more time reminiscing about the great adventures we have shared.
Don’t miss your chance to make those memories too.
Where do you want to go with your “mature” parents?
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Your parents are blessed! You’ll have these memories forever!